Grieving and Bereavement

Grieving after bereavement is a lonely business...

I personally found that I had to make the pain of bereavement count for something. In psychic sessions from several top-class mediums my wife insisted that her early death was planned and had specific meaning and intention. She merely used the cancer as a way to go. If it hadn't been cancer it would have been something else.

Obviously it was not all about me, though it certainly felt like it sometimes in my state of depression and loss. On the other hand my part in the events was all about me, for we are all at the centre of our own universe. We had six children, (in fact seven when I discovered a still-born daughter was alive in the spirit world.) She had other relatives and friends who were touched by it as well.

We do receive comfort, but for the main part grief is endured alone. You can be lonely in a crowded room, and often that is our experience.

The traditional Christian belief is that those who pass over, provided they are "saved", are asleep in the arms of Jesus awaiting the resurrection of the dead and the Great Judgement. The "saved" have nothing to fear at the Judgement, but the unsaved are in for a very bad time for ever and ever.  Atheists tend to believe that beyond death is oblivion. In my lifetime I have believed all of this at different times.

What I discovered as I searched however was that none of these things are true. My wife and other relatives and friends showed themselves to be fully alive in bodily form. They are fully aware of us here on earth. In fact, their own "space" is probably on or around the earth in a dimension that is invisible to us. They are still the same personalities that they were here on earth, though still developing and learning. They have to "wind themselves down", as it were, in order to communicate with us. We probably don't get the full picture of who they have become.

If you dispute the idea of invisible reality just think about this: your thoughts are real....yet they take up no space and they cannot be seen. Your knowledge grows enormously over a lifetime yet your head doesn't get bigger nor does it feel too full.

There are spectrums, or spectra,  of light and sound that once we did not know about. There are bound to be more of such realities that are still invisible to our earth perception.

Love is the great bond between us and our lost loved ones. The emotional power keeps us in touch.

For those losing a spouse whom they didn't like, there is no coercion to join up again. Matters can be sorted and each can go their own way.

If a spouse remarries and has another strong loving relationship like the first, it is totally possible to split oneself off in the afterlife and continue with both relationships. There are no limits to the soul.

Atheism, Religion and Bereavement

If Atheism means that not only is there no God but that life as we know it is random, accidental  and temporary, then it is no more sensible than believing in a flat earth. Darwin saw true things, and then misinterpreted them; his modern followers have made it even worse.

The traditional idea of God as the creator of humanity is probably naive, but not entirely ridiculous. God is "All-That-Is", the source of all kinds of life; all life is not humanoid by any means. The main difficulty in discussing these issues is words and what we mean by them.

"Consciousness" is probably the best word we can use to describe the underlying source of energy that creates all things. It creates all things continuously; it has no beginning and no end. It is very much related to Thought when it is manifested in form.

We are all part of that Consciousness and there are many other dimensions in which we all exist simultaneously to the world we know now. Think of yourself as a vast consciousness that straddles universes, taking the form appropriate to each part. Here you are a physical man or woman or child; in many other dimensions you are something else.

When a loved one passes out of this system it is painful in the extreme. Yet that loved one is fully alive beyond a very thin veil. You can contact them in several ways. A genuine medium can connect you in ways that leave no doubt; you can also tune in to their energy by yourself and experience unmistakable contact.

The purpose of pain in bereavement is to develop your soul, your psyche. It deepens your understanding of life and makes you more compassionate and tolerant. There is no judgment or punishment. We are good people. There is no sinful self in spite of what religion and psychology will tell you. What we see as evil is energy gone wrong.

My chief source of knowledge comes from years of studying the Seth Material, several volumes through Jane Roberts. I recommend them. I have written my own book detailing why I believe what I believe. Some have described it as a primer, or a cheat-sheet, and it can be a good introduction to the many sources of intelligence in the mysteries of life. It is called:
"Wings of the Dawn, 
Finding God Beyond Religion and Darwinism, and Making Sense of Bereavement"

It is on Amazon and is available at:
http://www.edenvalebooks.com

If you prefer to delve into the real source then go for the Seth books right away, although my own book expands on just the Seth material.

Good hunting.

My life in the Exclusive Brethren

I was born into the Christian sect known as Exclusive Brethren, a movement started by J N Darby around 1832 in Dublin and Plymouth, hence "Plymouth Brethren" which is the softer part of this movement.

The EB gradually became more extreme over the years, especially after 1959 when the son of the long-ruling leader James Taylor took over the leadership worldwide. He was James Taylor Junior and he lived in New York as did his father. The central tenet of the Brethren was always "separation from the world", but under James Taylor Junior this was pushed to an extreme, based on 2 Timothy 2, verse 19, "Let him that names the name of the Lord separate from iniquity." From 1959 onwards, until his death in 1970, Taylor issued a stream of what he called "directives" which he claimed to get direct from the Lord.

These directives covered almost all aspects of our lives: not to eat or drink with "unbelievers", (in practice this was all non-members of the EB fellowship), not to have TV or radio, to attend church meetings every day, and much much more. He eventually claimed to be God's Representative on Earth, and the "Personification of the Holy Spirit". His many henchmen around the world enforced the rules with very little, if any, compassion, and numerous families were split apart in bitterness and sorrow.

His one concession to freedom was alcohol, largely due to his own addiction. He got everybody drinking alcohol as a matter of course. We couldn't smoke or eat with outsiders or have radio or theatre or TV, but boy could we drink!

Ironically, a few months before he died this supposed holy man was found in bed with a naked lady not his wife. This resulted in a great schism and thousands of members left the fellowship. The vast majority stayed, though, believing his explanation that he had been directed by God all along. I, alas, was one of these deluded followers and it took another thirteen years before I finally freed myself. On this blog I am exploring how I found my way out of this darkness into a more positive and (in my opinion) sensible view of the world and of greater realities beyond. In the process I lost my way a few times, and then had the bitter blow of losing my lovely wife to cancer at the age of 52.

This finally set me on the Great Search, first of all for where she went, (and I found her!) In the process I discovered an exciting multidimensional universe of never-ending life beyond the distortions of religions and science. In case you wonder at this point: I do not subscribe to any of the weird conspiracy theories and dark views of how the world is run. I see no doom or spectacular end of the world. I believe that we each one create our own reality and that we have always been alive and always will be. I believe in the essential goodness of human beings. I believe in Love, Faith, Hope, and in Service to our fellow men and women. If you want to read my story have a look at:
http://www.edenvalebooks.com